I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
