Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
