Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I came so hard my ears popped.
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