it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
that is very illegal...i love you.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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