I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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