GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
