What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
