I'm jealous of your bromance
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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