How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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