At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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