I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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