no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
