Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
3 2 1 whiskey
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
