Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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