Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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