SEEEEXXX PLEASE
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
its liver damage thursday
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
