You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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