I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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