so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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