and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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