I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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