Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
