We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
