can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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