I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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