It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
