Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
