we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
