I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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