Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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