It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Someone shattered a urinal.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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