U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
