When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
