yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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