i think i have two assholes
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
