90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
