This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
