you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
