discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
