right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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