oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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