Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
