I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
