We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
