I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
