i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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