I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
