Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Congratulations! We have a period
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
