the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
