if you like me you must not know who I am
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
