she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
