YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
