Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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