so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize