I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
