no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
