Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just blew my weed a kiss
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
