who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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