; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
how do flat chested girls get laid?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
