how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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