hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
